They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
