I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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