we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
babies were throwing up all over the place
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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