she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
