question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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