I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
