you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
