you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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