Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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