don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Houston, we have a blender
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize