he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
