I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
