Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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