Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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