I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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