he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
