omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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