your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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