ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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