we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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