Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
