All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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