not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
