Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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