So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
