I wanna bring you to show and tell
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
