If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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