Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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