it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
