Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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