those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
