so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
