I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
