Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
