I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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