If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
