um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
