She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
