i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
