i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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