She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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