You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
