coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
