I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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