eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize