I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
