Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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