i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize