You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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