Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
