So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
