you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
