Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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