A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
