He kissed a someone with a penis
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize