pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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