i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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